A Note To Young Moms     | page 1 of 3 | next>

by Lynne Hybels

On October 7, 2006, my daughter gave birth to her first child.  Shauna had recently turned thirty and Henry was a “planned baby.”  But planned or not, a baby radically changes life.  The week Shauna found out she was pregnant she also signed a book contract, and a month later she traded her full-time leadership position on a church staff for part-time church consulting and speaking. 

As a church leader, speaker, and writer, Shauna has enjoyed a fulfilling vocational and ministry life.  She is overjoyed to become a mother, and has willingly shifted the main focus of her time and energy to child-rearing; however, she knows that in order to feel fully alive she must continue to develop and use—to some degree—the full range of gifts God has given her.  As she and I together have examined my past experiences and anticipate her future experiences, we offer the following five suggestions for women combining the realities of motherhood with the desire (or financial necessity) of engaging in ministry or vocation outside the home.

Pay attention to your authentic responses to life.

Be honest with yourself. Listen to your soul, your emotions, your joys, your frustrations.  We are so quick to say, I shouldn’t feel like this; I should feel like that.  I shouldn’t desire this; I should be content with that.  But when we dismiss or deny our authentic responses and lose touch with our true needs, feelings, dreams and desires, we often end up frustrated and bitter.

We need to allow ourselves to honestly answer questions like these:  Am I pleased with how I’m living my life?  Or am I frustrated?  Angry?  Depressed?  What brings me energy?  What drains my energy?  What are my dreams for the future?  What needs in the world move me to tears? What activities and endeavors bring me joy?  What creative outlet brings me deep satisfaction? 

This type of honesty is not about self-indulgence.  It’s about dealing with what’s true inside us.  It’s about making thoughtful, prayerful decisions about how to live with joy so we can bring our “best selves” to the people we love.  As we pray about our honest feelings, or talk with trusted friends, our spouse, or a counselor, we can decide how to respond to those feelings constructively. 

Questions such as these can spark creative solutions: Are there activities I can eliminate from my schedule that will help me to feel less stressed?  Are there responsibilities I can give up that will give me more time for activities I prefer?  Is there a class I could take that will help keep my dreams for the future alive?  Is there a volunteer job I could do that would be fulfilling?  How can I creatively shape a life that’s more satisfying for me?

On the other hand, some of our feelings may indicate an area in which we need to grow in patience or obedience to God.  There may be life circumstances that we simply need to learn to accept as the reality of our life, either for a season or permanently. But until we become honest about our feelings, we can’t even begin to discern what we need to accept and what we have the freedom to change.

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